Dear Adoring Fans,
I must first apologise for not writing in my journal much over the past while. I have been dealing with some tuff stress in my life and just haven�t felt much like venting online where everyone can read. I am sorry for hiding things from all of you. I am sorry for the downer that I have been at times recently. I am sure that from some of entries people knew that there was stuff going on, and there still is, but now I have chosen to stop all this mourning crap and to pull myself together. I know that this is going to be a lot harder than I imagine it to be, but gosh darn it, I have to try. I can�t keep living in this state.
So here is something a little more interesting�.
Last night while wallowing in my own mucky life I decided to try to escape and watch a few of my favourite TV shows. TV is something that I don�t watch much anymore, but when I do it is a nice escape from my own reality. I like becoming involved in someone else�s story and trying to solve their �problems� before they do, as if I can help them along. So, I watched one episode of CSI, two episodes of Seinfeld and two episodes of Sex and the City�3 great shows and almost a full 3 hours of great distractions.
To help me get out of my whoa-is-me mindset I also got some wonderful comfort food last night. I picked up some Oreo Cookies, chocolate milk, raspberry sorbet, and key lime sorbet. Knowing me I will go out and get some instant mashed potatoes, green beans and have chicken breast tonight. Then I will curl up, watch more CSI and have a cup of tea. I have a feeling that over the next while I will be gaining weight�hehe.
Speaking of gaining weight, I have put on a few pounds lately. I think that the weight is healthy weight, its not like I am fat or anything (I would need to gain a lot to consider myself fat), but I have noticed more shape to my body over the past while. I was looking at a picture of myself taken sometime a year or maybe two ago and then looking at one in the same outfit (a little black skirt and white dress shirt), and it is slightly noticeable how my body has become more curvy and womanlike. I am 21 years old and I am happy with my body. I don�t think that my body is perfect, no, not at all, but I am happy with it. The one thing that I have really noticed over the past while is that my breasts have become a little fuller. I am not sure if this is all that noticeable to the �average� person, but it is to me who sees my naked body every day of my life.
Enough about me. Let�s talk about you.
I think that you are wonderful. I wish that we were closer and that I was not feeling as if our friendship was slipping away. We�ve had some good times together, and I want us to have more of those. I really have been thinking about you a lot lately. I care about your well-being and was wondering if there was anything that I could do to help you in your life. Friends help each other, and I consider us friends and want to strengthen that friendship. Talk to me soon and maybe we can go out for coffee or something. Tell me about your life and I will tell you all about mine (though there isn�t much to tell).
Meh�I don�t know if there is anything else interesting for me to write about. This has been a fairly long entry and well�to be honest I am getting a little bored with it. I hope that it was not too boring for you to read. I suppose if it was boring you would have already stopped reading this and then you would not even read my apology for the boringness�..blah blah blah�