For the past 3 saturdays in a row I have left work early. The first one I was super sick and could harldy stand. My head was pounding and I had to make a mad dash to the restroom once to throw up. That was a bad day. The next saturday the mall was dead. There was hardly a single person there. I made some good sales before I left (I think I was over my goal even), but I figured the other girls could handle no one in the store on their own. So, I left. Then just yesterday I left early again because it seemed like the few people that would come in the store didn't even want to buy anything. Our goal for the day was ridiculiously huge, and I doubt that we made it, but I left early again. I ended up going on a mad dash shopping spree. I almost got nothing, but somehow I have very little cash for the next while. It's so strange how that can happen when you NEED things like minutes for your phone, and deoderant and things like that.
This week is going to be hecktick. I can tell already. I really am going to cherish today, my one day off this week. I am going to enjoy it as much as I possibly can. I was going to go to church today, but I just barely missed the bus. I was walking down the street to the bus stop and the bus just drove right by. I hate it when that happens. It only would have been about the third time that I had gone to church since I have been home from my cruise. Hmm...I guess it would only have been the third time going to church in about 10 months. That is so strange to think about seeing as how I have gone almost every single sunday since I was 6. My life has changed alot though since then. I feel and think differently now then I did before. I still believe in God, but I...I don't think that I really know how to explain it. I want to believe and feel passionate like I did before. I just am not into being lukewarm I guess. Sometimes I feel like either you should be totally into it, or not at all. I dont want to pretend that everything is good when it is not. I am not happy with church, situations, people, past. I have tried to let it go in so many ways, but there is just so much pain that I feel because things are still present. Situations are not done. How can you forget when something is there still staring you in the face still?
On another note, (wow, that last paragraph got my heart racing) my family is away again! They left this morning. Mom asked me to water her plants on tuesday and to check their answering machine a few times if I want (I have a different phone line then them). They also said something about where I could find Grandpa's number if I needed them. Oh ya, they went to Penticton to see my Grandpa and his new girlfriend. I guess she is not that new, its been about a year now, but I have never met her. I have never known my Grandparents (either side of the family really) to date other people. But I guess I dont really communicate or see much of my relatives.
Well, I think that I am going to go surf the net (hehe, such a funny term) for a bit and then head off to do whatever and make the most of my day off. Yep, here I go.