I tried calling you today but there must have been something wrong with the phones. No, I lied. There was nothing wrong with the phones...just something wrong with me. I am sorry for the things that I did. I wish that you could see the pain that I feel because of it.
Have you ever taken a psycilogical test? The kind where it tells you how you think, or what your personality disorder is? I have, but it has been a long time since I took one. I think that alot will have changed...I am going to take one right now to see what "they" think is wrong with me...I have a very high dependent personality and a high histrionic. I know that I am dependent on others, I agree with that, but I dont think that I am histrionic...Yes, I can be dramatic and a bit seductive at times, but I am not a liar. Honestly...well, I keep somethings in and I guess that is lieing, but I dont tell bigger stories to make me look good or anything. For real, honestly.
I watched 'Hostage' tonight. It was an intense movie. I watched it all by myself which was maybe not a good idea because it was a little gory and I dont like gore right now. Boo...Still it was a good movie. I really do enjoy Bruce Willis as an actor. He seems very genuine and caring and I like that in a person. I want that in a person.
Off I go though. Dont know what I am going to do tonight. Honestly I want to just leave my house and be with people that know me. Sadly my family does not know me. I feel that I must be a little unreal when I am with them and that is not what I want right now. Maybe I should really consider moving out...I never really know now adays what I want to do. I want change but I dont know what I want to change or how or when. Got any suggestions to feeling satisfied?