I have been sitting here and waiting for a sign. A sign of something. Wondering if I am going in the right direction or what. Then God puts someone into my life who I feel very accepted by, someone who doesn't even know me. If he knows anything about me it is probably what he has heard from other people. Anyways, I was searching online for something, for anything. I just wanted to take my mind off of life and yet I wanted answers. Then this guy comes online and says hello. Still he hardly knows me yet I feel that we have some sort of understanding and I feel so accepted and if it is possible loved. It's not a romantic love, no it's totally a Godly love. I find it so attractive. He tells me he had a nice time while he was in town and we chat about our cats (oh the cheese) and a few other things. Then he send me a journal that he wrote to record his attempt to get over a very personal struggle. This guy hardly knows me and he shares this with me. I am still reading it and it is so inspiring. I do not have the exact same struggle, but I know people that do. Still, my struggles are simialr. They are something that I am ashamed of and wonder to myself, "How did it get this far? How did I come to living my life this way?". I feel so much more at peace with myself. That things will work out. My attempts to improve are the right thing right now. I have no reason to feel guilty for taking this step...I can do it. See, as I read this journal I would never have knows that this guy had struggled with these things. That gives me hope for the future...anyways...I will read on. If you would like a copy of this journal email me, as I have been given permission to share it with others. Believe me, if you read it it will bless you in some way or another. Be open