If you knew me a year or two ago, and you met me now, you would be surprised by how much I have changed. I know that I have said this before, but things are so much different now. However, I have noticed that when I run into some of the old friends, and people who I have been hurt by, that sometimes I freeze and find it hard to be who I am now. I almost have felt an obligation to be the old me, the depressed, insecure, over emotional, suicidal, unstable me. It's like I feel this obligation to help them prove me wrong....that's just not good! I am happy. I am happy. I am happy. I am really tuely happy. I still have my moments when I cry and things get me down, but I am happy deep down. I refuse to feel obligated to be the way that I was before. I am who I am now, and that's a great me to be. Like a good wine, I will only get better with time...(maybe I should write a poem about it, hehe).
Part of the reason why it is so easy for me to no longer feel insecure is because of my friends. They have all been amazingly loving and caring and accepting. They like me for me, not something that I should be in their opinion. I don't feel judged, I feel watched out for. This groups of friends is the most amazing thing relationship wise that has ever happened to me. There have been very few people in my life that I felt so strongly about before, and never has there been a group of friends at any time like this. It's always been a person here, and another one there. This is all so undescribable. Everyone should be blessed with such love.
God has blessed me with all of you! I will do my best to never forget it. I never want to be at a place in my life where I forget what it was like to feel alone and not have friends. This way I will always appreciate and cherish ever moment that we have together!
I know that when I do something that hurts you, that you will find it in your heart to forgive me. I know that we will be ok because of our love for each other. I know that you understand that I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you and that is why it will be easier for you to forgive me. I love you all so much and I can't wait until May long weekend.