Erik sent me two emails that I finally read. Seeing his name in my inbox was, well, emotional. It was good, sad and hurtful all at the same time.
I watched a movie with mark d and onlythetony. I drank too much while doing so. I drank because I thought it would help me to laugh and let go of the tension, and to be more open all at the same time. It was and it did, but I should not drink like that.
Onlythetony and I fought some more. Our fights are much different then they use to be. I don't fight like I use to really. I mostly cry and apologize for things that I rarely need to say sorry for. I tell people that they hurt me. I explain that I am hurt. They hurt me. I am not mad. I am hurt. It's much different then it use to be. I ask how I can change. What can I do to make it better?
My full time girl at work quit. It's alright. It caught me off guard, that's all. I am happy for her, it pays more but I doubt that it will be more fun then we have. It means some reshuffling of my employees, and hiring AGAIN! but I can handle it all. I'll figure it out.
I colored my hair dark brown again and put in some dark green pieces. You can hardly tell that they are there though. I also gave one of my sisters some blond pieces and my brother a blue chunck near the front of his hair.
I had thanksgiving dinner with my family. It is one of the very few times in a year that my family actually sits down at a table to eat together. That was nice. I dont think that anyone fought or said anything too mean to each other.
I went bowling and saw 'into the blue'. I thought about running away to an island and living life in such a diferent way. I need more of a challenge. Knowing me, I would get there and get bored and try to build a hotel or something just so I had a challenge.
Are you trying to hide? To become a mystery? A sunken ship's treasure?